Raising a child has never been easy. At every stage of life, parents are called to strike a delicate balance between protecting their children and giving them the freedom to grow into independent, responsible adults. As children approach graduation, that balance becomes even more significant. The role of a parent begins to shift from providing direction to offering guidance, from solving problems to helping young adults navigate them for themselves. This reflection formed the heart of the 4th Year Parents Seminar hosted by the Strathmore Institute of Mathematical Sciences (SIMS), where parents gathered to consider what it means to support their children as they prepare to leave university and begin the next chapter of their lives.
Guest speaker, Mr. Herbert Nabangi, who has been a parent at Strathmore for the past 21 years, challenged those in attendance to resist the temptation to make life too comfortable for their children. Opening his presentation with the adage, “hard times create tough people, tough people create easy times, easy times create weak people, and weak people create hard times,” he reminded parents that resilience is often forged through adversity rather than comfort.
“There is no gain without pain,” he observed, encouraging parents to allow their children to experience the consequences of their actions instead of rushing to remove every obstacle from their path. In doing so, they create opportunities for young adults to develop resilience, responsibility, and confidence.
Central to his message was the invitation for parents to move from being managers to becoming mentors, coaches, and advisors. He urged them to remember their children between the ages of one and five, curious, playful, dependent, and eager to learn, and then reflect on the transformation that had taken place during their years at Strathmore.
One parent captured that transformation in a moving reflection. “When they were in high school, they expected the teacher to push them to do their practice and things like that. But we see a lot of self-drive, initiative, and of course, maturity. The sense of confidence that they have gained from Strathmore is less of a childish university student but more of a mature university student.”
Mr. Cyrus Muthumbi, Manager of the Institute, echoed this message by encouraging parents to gradually step back from directing every aspect of their children’s lives. Rather than deciding when they should wake up or organising every detail of their routine, parents were encouraged to guide them towards making responsible decisions for themselves, just as they will be expected to do in the workplace.
The conversations throughout the seminar returned repeatedly to the importance of trust. Trusting children to make decisions, trusting them to learn from failure, and trusting that the values instilled over many years would guide them long after they leave home.
Parents were encouraged to build on their children’s strengths instead of dwelling on disappointments. By nurturing what is good, they become trusted companions rather than constant critics. Equally important is cultivating friendship with their children, recognising that while home remains a place of belonging, young adults are naturally turning their attention towards careers, relationships, and independent lives.
When challenges arise, parents were reminded to welcome their children, listen without judgment, and resist the urge to immediately fix every problem. Sometimes the greatest lessons are learned through experience. One parent reflected on this after her son missed a final examination because he had stepped out to help a friend. Although painful at the time, the experience became a lesson in accountability and judgment that no lecture could have taught.
For Mr. Nabangi, these moments are part of preparing children not simply for graduation, but for life itself. He shared the story of his daughter’s marriage and the uncertainty surrounding family negotiations, recalling how he encouraged the young couple to trust God and allow the process to unfold naturally. The experience served as a reminder that parents cannot control every outcome, but they can continue to offer wisdom, encouragement, and unwavering support.
The seminar also highlighted the University’s efforts to prepare students for life beyond the classroom through initiatives such as Service-Based Learning, Industry Mentoring, and Work-Based Learning. These programmes complement academic excellence by encouraging students to serve others, engage with industry, and begin building meaningful professional relationships before graduation.
Dean of the Institute, Dr. Godfrey Madigu, shared the Institute’s vision for continued growth, including plans for a new STEM complex that will strengthen scientific research and innovation. He also celebrated the strong performance of the Bachelor of Business Science programme, a 67 per cent graduation rate, one of the strongest performances in the school’s history, and the increasing opportunities for students to compete and collaborate on the global stage.
Article written by Maitethia Doreen, Communications Administrator, Strathmore Institute of Mathematical Sciences.
